Self-care & Well-being

September 21 2023

REGULATE

R.E.G.U.L.A.T.E Normalizing well-being and success

I want to start this post by telling you congratulations! What an awesome job you have been doing with your self-development and self-regulation this year. The consistency through uncertainty and challenges, the willingness to learn, unlearn and relearn, the constant desire to observe, reflect, and to make tweaks and corrections. All of these guarantee progress because no matter how many mistakes you have made along the way, you have used them as opportunities to learn and to grow.

I want you to do these 3 things to yourself right now (preferably looking in the mirror or into your selfie camera)

Say “thank you” to the whole of yourself for pushing limits and holding on so far this year. Say it literally in an audible voice to yourself: “Thank you” (Your name)! Also, thank your vital organs for working effectively for you. Thank your brain, thank your heart, thank your lungs, thank your kidneys, thank your hands and your legs, thank your eyes, nose and your mouth. Recall or write down 3 major things you want thank yourself for this year! Finally, be in the spirit of thanks giving for the rest of the year. Constantly thank and appreciate yourself and you should look for a way to physically reward yourself before the year ends in December (No matter how small or big)
Congratulate yourself for 3 major things you have done for yourself this year. It could be decisions made, new positive habits formed, personal achievements, negative patterns you overcame or situations you learned to handle better. Say it literally in an audible voice to yourself: say “congratulations” (Your name)! I am proud of you (Your name)
Finally put your hand over your heart say “I love you” to yourself. Say it literally in an audible voice: I love you (Your name)! I appreciate you (Your name) and I am grateful for who you are (Your name).

For the rest of the year, it is important to recognize your own effort and commitment to your life. Make it a habit to do these 3 things for yourself as often as you can (at least once a week), verbally thank yourself, congratulate yourself and tell yourself you love yourself. Whatever love, admiration, appreciation and recognition you want to receive from the world, make sure to give it to yourself first! In August, I encouraged you to activate the frequency of “unwavering trust” and I gave practical steps on how to cultivate it. The theme for this last quarter of the year is “R.E.G.U.L.A.T.E” I encourage you to make these actions a priority in order to maintain well-being, high-level performance, success and growth.

Rest – allows you to function at your highest capacity

Exercise – to energize your mind and body

Gratitude – daily gratitude attracts abundance into every area of your life

Unconditional love: allows you to see yourself as you truly are and to experience/appreciate the fullness of yourself. Never reject yourself, speak unkind words about yourself or put yourself down for making mistakes. Always forgive yourself, be kind to yourself, and accept yourself as you are. The degree to which you love yourself unconditionally is the degree to which you can love others unconditionally!

Laughter – alleviates stress from the heart and mind and helps you to feel lighter in spirit

Affirmations – reinforces the mind with positive ideas and intentions

Trust – helps you to live, express and create without anxiety and fear

Empathy – allows you to feel and to honor the needs of your mind, body and soul as well as the needs of the people around. Prioritizing self-empathy is key before we prioritize (and can truly understand) empathy to others

We have been climbing up the mountains of self-mastery all year, now is a good time to pause and to see how far we have come so far, in order to reenergize ourselves to finish the year strong! I wish you an abundantly successful last quarter of the year!

Check out my book “21 Affirmations: Igniting a positive mental reset” for action steps you can take to “R.E.G.U.L.A.T.E”. It is available on Amazon worldwide for just $18

I am currently running a “Self-help package” promo where you can purchase the 21 Affirmations eBook and the well-being toolkit for just $15 (N12,000) only!

The “Well-being tool kit” works as a self-coaching manual for observing and managing the action steps for manifesting your highest level of well-being! It works hand in hand as a playbook for the book 21 Affirmation, and includes detailed work sheets for doing the activities in it.

One love

August 15 2023

DIVINE TRUST

kome Coaching, Self-care & Well-being

DIVINE TRUST And how to cultivate it

Great things begin to manifest this August as long as we TRUST.

You have done the work, you have cleansed your mind and emotions through the power of gratitude and forgiveness in May. You have “serviced your vehicle” by checking in with your physical, mental, spiritual, emotional, financial and relationships health, to discover what is adding or subtracting from the quality of your experience in June. And in July, we embarked on a shed, release and elevate project where we let go of behaviors, vices and patterns that no longer serve us, in order to quantum leap in our performance and our overall well-being. Now it is time to trust in the creator, trust in your abilities and to trust the process! As we come to the close of the 2^nd quarter of the year, the theme for this month of August is “Divine Trust”.

When doors open, walk through them with confidence and trust in your abilities to take advantage of the opportunities that await you. When doors close, trust in the fact that the creator has something better planned for you. When challenges occur, trust that you have what it takes to endure and to figure out creative solutions. And trust that the creator would never give you more than you have the ability and capacity to handle. When things seem to be taking longer or taking a different route, trust the process and trust that it is helping you build the character and skills required for what lies ahead. When good things occur receive them with trust and when bad things occur receive them with the same level of trust. Trust that your vision and plans would for sure manifest!

Here are some practical steps you can take to maximize the power of this frequency of trust:

Revisit your vision and become clear on it. Reflect on it, reflect on the impact it would bring to your life and the people around you and commit this vision to the supreme creator in prayer, affirmation and visualization.
Know that you do NOT have to know every single detail of every step along the journey of manifesting your vision. There will be some or many unknowns and you do not have to have the answer to all of them. Becoming aware of this helps you to eliminate any anxiety, procrastination, fear or doubt associated with moving forward and achieving this magnificent vision of yours. It also gives you the courage to fully proceed with trust.
Become clear on the steps to your vision that you know and have the capacity and ability to handle and build effective strategies for how you plan to execute them. Write down these strategies and break them down into small actionable steps.
Become aware of the gaps in your vision that you do not have the clarity, capacity and ability to handle. Realize that it is OKAY to not have the clarity, skills, knowledge and ability to handle these gaps and be at peace with knowing this! Once you admit to yourself that you do NOT know, you create space for the supreme creator and the universe to reveal the answers to these gaps to you.
The answers to the gaps in your vision are always around you in the people within your close and extended networks and all you have to do next is ASK FOR HELP. When you are humble enough to admit that you do not know, it becomes easy to be open to hearing and receiving suggestions and ideas from external sources which can then begin to point you in the right direction of your solutions. Simply put when you admit what you do not know and admit that you need help, your spirit/subconscious mind begins to attract the solutions to you.
Be open to allowing other people interpret your vision in their own way, especially within the areas where you have gaps of clarity! Whether it is your wife or husband, your employees, your business partners, your investors or even your children. The universe reveals the steps to your vision through your imagination, as well as other people’s imaginations! These other people may possess internal or external expertise that you may lack. It is still your imagination and vision that is the driving force! Do not be afraid to let go of some control because every vision comes with a set of vision partners in order for it to manifest!
Finally trust! Trust the supreme creator, trust your abilities, skills and knowledge, trust your internal and external networks, trust your vision partners, trust the process of your journey and finally trust that the entire universe is conspiring in your favor!

One love,

Blink

Check out my book “21 Affirmations: Igniting a positive mental reset” for action steps you can take to cultivate the power of trust in every area of your life. It is available on Amazon worldwide for just $18

I am currently running a “Self-help package” promo where you can purchase the 21 Affirmations eBook and the well-being toolkit for just $15 (N12,000) only!

July 4 2023

QUANTUM LEAP

kome Coaching, Self-care & Well-being

Quantum Leap Shed, release and elevate!

July undeniable feels like the beginning of a Quantum leap! It’s the 7^th month of the year and by now, we should have been able to clearly observe our personal patterns and habits in order to discern what is working and what is not.

In May, we let the fresh air in, through activating the power of gratitude and forgiveness. That helped us to reenergize our minds from the challenges we faced the first quarter and half, as we prepared to close out the second quarter of the year.

In June we serviced our vehicle (mind and body) by doing an in-depth self-check in with ourselves to discover what is adding or subtracting from the quality of our experience in our Physical health, mental health, spiritual and emotional health, financial health and relationships health.

This month the goal is to shed, release and to completely let go of what isn’t working in order to give what works the opportunity to elevate. The degree to which we are successful in doing this is the degree to which we will quantum leap for the rest of the year and there is absolutely no limit to how far you can go these last 6 months! Things will begin to happen almost instantly and we must take advantage of what we have discovered from the previous months and prioritize ruthless execution! No more time for excuses, hesitation or second guessing! Now is the time to move and now is the time to take off!

As you are reading this article I am sure your heart is already becoming aware of the things you need to shed in order to elevate. These habits and patterns have probably been highlighting themselves in your mind all through the year, but you have been holding on to them because you have found a comfort zone within them. At this point of the year, making any further negotiation with your comfort zone will compromise or seriously stifle your ability to elevate. So, the choice is yours, remain in your comfort zone and stagnate OR commit to shedding these patterns in order to quantum leap!

I know, I know, it is difficult denying yourself of these comforts because they may be pleasurable and you have often found safety in them. Do not be afraid because what lies ahead of you is much greater than anything you have ever experienced or imagined and you will be grateful to yourself for making the decision to let go!

Here are some strategies for embarking on a successful SHED, RELEASE AND ELEVATION project:

Review your self-check in (self-audit) from the previous month and highlight every negative pattern, habit, vice and thought form (blocks) that is subtracting from the quality of your experience.

Visualize the benefits of what your life would be like if you were to eliminate these blocks from your experience. What is the highest possible outcome? What type of opportunities will you attract? How would you feel? How would you view yourself and how would others view you? What can you achieve? How healthy, happy, beautiful and successful can you be?

Reflect and write down all the major obstacles and challenges to removing these blocks from your experience. For example, if you wanted to eliminate smoking, a challenge maybe you are surrounded by people that smoke. If you wanted to get 6-8 hours of sleep an obstacle maybe you struggle to fall asleep early enough and stay up late on social media.

Eliminate triggers for distraction and add triggers for positive action: Throw away everything that triggers your distraction. Remove them from your line of sight. For example, removing your smart phone from your bed side or room completely after 8pm, if you want to eliminate staying up late on social media. Limit or eliminate interaction with people and things that encourage the distraction and be ruthless about this. Remember this is a matter of your highest well-being.

Make if-then plans to address these obstacles. For example, if I want to eat healthier and cut out junk, my if-then plan can be: “if I am urged to buy biscuit and bread when I go to Shoprite then I will head over to the fruits, vegetables or healthy snacks isle instead.” If I am struggling with my sleeping patterns then I will invest in melatonin and magnesium supplements to help me regulate by circadian rhythms. Have a solid plan in mind for your obstacles before you face them in real time and you will be better prepared to overcome them!

Fasting. This is the final key and is a powerful self-denial tool that will ultimately help you to shed and release ANYTHING you want to let go of in your life. Air, food and water are our most fundamental needs in life. Restricting access to any of those 3 things forces us to focus on our most important goal in life which is to survive and it connects us to our life force in a way that nothing else can. The obvious and easiest thing to restrict out of those 3 fundamental needs is food and when we restrict our access to it, we are forced to realize how much we do not need many of the comforts, vices, patterns and habits that we desperately hold on to on a daily basis! Fasting is easier when you have accountability partners to do it with! Choose 2 or 3 people in your life to embark on this exercise with and commit to holding each other accountable. Each of you will set specific intentions for your fast, including things you want to shed and the positive outcomes you will like to see manifest. Set a specific time window where you do not eat any food (for example from wake till 3pm). At the end of each day’s fast each person will say a prayer/give gratitude for the group intentions and then check in with the group to confirm that they have executed the fast for the day!

These strategies are guaranteed to help you succeed in your shed, release and elevate project and will ultimately lead you to a quantum leap in performance and experience for the rest of the year! I wish you maximum grace and discipline as you embark on this transformative project!

Check out my book “21 Affirmations: Igniting a positive mental reset” for action steps you can take to “Check in with yourself” in every area of your life. I am currently running a “Self-help package promo” where you can purchase the 21 Affirmations eBook and the well-being toolkit for just $15 (N12,000) only!

Link to purchase and download: 21 AFFIRMATIONS SELF-HELP PACKAGE

One love

Blink

June 2 2023

Time for a self check-in

kome Coaching, Self-care & Well-being

Time for a self check-in Guided questions for checking-in on your personal well-being

If you have been keeping up with our community activities, then you must have started 2023 by creating compelling visions for yourself and creating your vision board. We are at the midpoint of the year and it is a great time to check in with ourselves and our alignment to our visions and goals. If you didn’t begin the year by creating compelling visions for the goals you want to achieve and creating your vision board, you can check out my article “How to make 2023 extraordinary” for tips on how to manifest an extraordinary year for yourself.

We can see our mind and body as a vehicle for experiencing the fullness of life. It is what carries us to and from our visions and goals and what transports us to our destiny. Like any vehicle whether automobile, aircraft or ship, it is mandatory to service the engine and major components after an extended period of consistent use, in order to ensure the vehicle is working efficiently and to avoid any unforeseen breakdowns. Here in Nigeria, it is advised to service your car every 3000-5000kms depending on the kind of engine oil your car requires and this usually happens every 4-6months. The journey through the year 2023 has already been a challenging one with many road bumps, delays, obstacles and trials in the midst of the beautiful experiences along the way. It is important for us to check in with our vehicle (mind and body) to ensure it is still running at optimal level and is prepared for the remaining journey ahead.

June is the perfect time to service ourselves by checking in with our physical health, mental health, spiritual/emotional health, financial health and relationships health. It is the perfect time to reflect on our year so far, and to ask ourselves the important questions that will enable us to know what is adding or subtracting from the quality of our experience.

Here are some suggested questions for guiding you through the process of checking in with yourself.

Physical health

How does my body feel right now? (do I feel any aches or sensations anywhere?)
What is my current physical energy level? (do I feel high on energy or low on energy/tired and why?)
Have I been finding the time to exercise?
Have I been prioritizing rest and good sleep?
Have I been intentional about my nutrition? (Am I intentional about the things I put in my body?)
Have I been intentional about establishing a good physical routine for myself (one that fits in my schedule and helps me feel refreshed?)
What are the distractions, obstacles or challenges in managing my physical health?
What things, people or places have been negative for my physical health?
What things, people or places have been positive for my physical health?
What do I need to do to improve my physical health in order to be in the best shape to manifest my goals?

This is also a great time to go for a health check and to speak with a fitness trainer or nutritionist.

Mental health

What is occupying my mind the most at the moment?
What is my current mental energy level? (do I feel highly motivated or mentally drained and why?)
What is my current level of enthusiasm towards my life (How excited do I feel to get out of bed, get into my day, connect with people, create value, share my ideas and energy, to work and to live in general?)
What is my current perception of myself and my life? (how do I feel about who I am in this moment and about my life in this current moment?)
Have I been intentional about practicing mindfulness (observing my thoughts and emotions and responding to their needs?)
Have I been intentional about my inner voice and self-talk? (using positive affirmations, practicing gratitude & forgiveness?)
Have I been intentional about the content I consume (on social media, in music, in movies, on the news and in my communities?)
Have I been prioritizing mental rest and recharge? (sleep, meditation, recreation, exercise and creative release)
What things, people or places have been negative for my mental health?
What things, people or places have been positive for my mental health?

This is also a great time to check in with your Therapist, counsellor or coach.

Spiritual and emotional health

Have I been paying attention to my emotions?
Do I feel in touch with myself and my needs?
Do I feel like I am expressing my genuine self? (in my intimate relationships, friendships, family, work and in life in general)
Do I feel safe within myself in the present moment and why? (Am I confident in myself and my decisions?)
Do I feel safe in my relationships? (Do I trust my intimate relationships, friendships, and family?)
Do I have a sense of fulfillment in the current moment?
Have I been intentional about establishing a good spiritual and emotional routine for myself (prayer, meditation, journaling, spending time in nature, connecting with your inner -self and connecting with the supreme creator?)
What things, people or places have been negative for my spiritual health?
What things, people or places have been positive for my spiritual health?
What do I need to do to improve my spiritual, mental and emotional health in order to be in the best shape to manifest my goals?

This is also a great time to go for a spiritual retreat, to do some healing work, to read a new book or to work with a coach or guide.

Financial health

How are my current beliefs about money in relation to the economy and my environment (do I believe there is scarcity or do I believe there are opportunities and why?)
How are my beliefs about money influencing my thoughts and actions?
How do I feel about my finances in the present moment? (Am I happy or sad about it and why?)
What have been my dominant thoughts regarding my personal finances?
Have I been keeping track of my expenses (where is my money going/ what items am I spending on the most)?
Have I been spending money on things that benefit my visions, my goals and my highest well-being?
Have I been intentional about saving and investing a portion of my income?
What things, people or places have been negative for my business/financial health?
What things, people or places have been positive for my business/financial health?
What do I need to do to improve my financial health in order to be in the best shape to manifest my goals?

This is also a great time to check in with your mentors, business and finance coaches. It also a great time to gain some new knowledge, skill or experience.

Relationships health

Have I been intentional about spending quality time alone with the supreme creator? (Especially meditation, spending time in nature listening, prayer, scripture etc.)
Have I been intentional about spending quality time alone with myself (self-care, self-reflection, mindfulness practice and rewarding yourself etc.)?
Have I been honoring myself and my needs in my relationship with others (family, friends, partner and work)?
Have I been intentional about making time for healthy connections (family, friends, collaborators, mentors, and soul tribe)?
Have I been intentional about spending quality time with the people I love and care about? (partner, family, friends etc.)?
Have I been intentional about listening to the people I love and care about and honoring their genuine feedback?
Have I been intentional about the connections in my life to ensure they align with my well-being and goals?
What things, people or places have been negative for my self-perception and relationship with myself?
What things, people or places have been positive for my self-perception and relationship with myself?
What do I need to do to improve my relationships health in order to be in the best shape to manifest my goals?

This is also a great time to check in with your partner, to reflect and audit your personal connections and to connect with a relationship coach or counsellor.

Link to purchase and download: 21 AFFIRMATIONS SELF-HELP PACKAGE

May 11 2023

Letting the fresh air in part 2: The power of forgiveness

kome Coaching, Self-care & Well-being

Letting the fresh air in part 2 The power of forgiveness

Hello Friends, hopefully you have read the part 1 to the article and have been able to activate the power of gratitude during this first week of May.

In the previous post, I discussed how the theme for the month is “Letting the fresh air in” and we analyzed this using the penthouse analogy. To summarize the analogy, “the penthouse” is your mind and the “fresh air” is the unlimited abundance of spirit (love and gratitude) around us and within us. In my previous article I focused on one half of “letting the fresh air in” which is, by activating the power of gratitude. The barriers between the penthouse and the fresh air are your “floor to ceiling windows” (windows of perception/focus). One of the most effective ways of opening up our windows of perception to abundant positive energy and love is through active gratitude. Did you write down a gratitude list yet? Have you created a daily gratitude practice for yourself? In case you haven’t, you can check out the part 1 of this post for suggested activities for increasing your awareness of gratitude.

In this article, we would focus on the other half of “letting the fresh air in” which is activating the power of forgiveness (letting go of guilt and judgement of self and others). Using our analogy once again, how do we maintain a fresh and beautiful smell within our penthouse suite? Besides opening up the “floor to ceiling windows” to let in the fresh air, we also have to get rid of the “lingering odors and foul smells” within the penthouse. The lingering odors and foul smells are the complaints, negative thoughts, self-talk, feelings, and outcomes we hold on to that are not aligned with our highest levels of well-being. In essence we must take out any old or discarded items we don’t need, do a deep clean and take out the trash.

How do we get rid of the lingering odors and foul smells (let go of guilt and judgement of self and others?) We do this by activating the power of forgiveness.

We are 5 months into the year and may have had some up and down experiences. We may have let ourselves down or have been let down by others. We may have fallen short of some personal goals we hoped to have achieved or maybe, certain outcomes we hoped for have not yet manifested. Life may have challenged us in ways that have caused us to hold negative emotions towards ourselves and others. Holding on to these negative emotions limits our well-being and limits us from experiencing the fullness of our potential in the present moment.

We have to reflect and become aware of all the areas in our life, we criticize and judge ourselves harshly. We have to forgive ourselves for all our mistakes and shortcomings and we have to commit to doing the same towards others, especially the people closest to us in our personal lives. To understand why this is important here is my definition of forgiveness from my book “21 Affirmations: Igniting a positive mental reset”

“Forgiveness to me is the ability to understand, let go and move on from unpleasant events and situations, in order to create room for more pleasant ones. It requires an understanding the all human beings are imperfect and prone to mistakes. It requires humility, empathy and compassion, which comes naturally if you live in gratitude as a state of being”

Forgiveness allows us to create space for new possibilities and outcomes to manifest in the present moment while holding on to grudges keeps us chained to old patterns and experiences. We often try to control every detail of how our life manifests. The more we learn to live and operate from a state of gratitude the more we would learn to trust the process of how our lives unfold. The ability to forgive ourselves and others allows us to constantly move with renewed energy towards our visions and goals. It also allows us to experience the fullness of our internal and external well-being in the present moment.

It is very key at this stage in the year to make sure your channels of perception aren’t blocked by negative thoughts, negative self-talk and negative emotions. Activating the power of gratitude and the power of forgiveness are 2 practical mindfulness tools we can use to renew our energy and bring clarity to our channels of perception.

Check out my book “21 Affirmations: Igniting a positive mental reset” for action steps you can take to activate the power of gratitude and the power of forgiveness in every area of your life. I am currently running a “Self-help package promo” where you can purchase the 21 Affirmations eBook and the well-being toolkit for just $15 only!

Link to purchase and download: 21 AFFIRMATIONS SELF-HELP PACKAGE

May 1 2023

Letting the fresh air in. Part 1

kome Coaching, Self-care & Well-being

Letting the fresh air in (Part 1) Refreshing your mind and your emotions through forgiveness.

Hello friends and welcome to the 5^th month of the year! The mental theme for this month is: Letting the fresh air in! To explain what I mean by this I would like to use this analogy:

Imagine that your mind is a luxury penthouse condominium in downtown Chicago, furnished according to your highest taste and desire, with floor to ceiling windows. For the most part of the year so far, you have had to keep your windows shut due to the freezing weather outside. The air in your penthouse has been ventilated using only the central air condition to keep the inside of your apartment warm and cozy. You keep the condo smelling good with quality fragrances and incense but every now and then you still find that you have to go outside to get some fresh air. Now it is approaching summer time and you can finally open your beautiful floor to ceiling windows and slide open the balcony door to allow some natural fresh air to flow through your penthouse! You can finally get rid of any old smells or lingering odors in your penthouse that do not serve its highest purpose or that you simply want to get rid of!

“The penthouse” is your mind
“The floor to ceiling windows” are your windows of perception (Your focus (eyes, ears, thoughts, words and feelings) and your heart disposition)
“The freezing cold” are the challenges you may experience through the year
“The central air condition” is your guiding beliefs and principles
“The incense/fragrances” are the blessings you can count or have counted (gratitude)
“Fresh air” is the unlimited abundance of the spirit (gratitude and love) that is within us and all around us
“Lingering odors” are complaints, feelings, thoughts and outcomes that are not in line with your highest well-being

So how do you let the fresh air (the abundance of spirit) back into your penthouse (your mind)? Instead of focusing on or complaining about the lingering smells you do not like (events, thoughts, emotions and outcomes), we can simply open up the floor to ceiling windows (eyes, ears, and heart) to allow the old odors out and the fresh new air (abundance, love and gratitude) in! To bring this analogy home to this blog post, we let the fresh air in by activating the power of gratitude and the power of letting go of guilt and judgement of our self and others. These are powerful ways to refresh your mental and emotional health by eliminating any self-imposed negative blocks (thoughts and emotions that aren’t aligned with your highest well-being and intentions) from your nervous system. In this article we would focus on activating the power of gratitude by looking at how to feel gratitude as your natural state of being.

If you ask the average adult if they are a grateful person, chances are they will respond with a yes. Most adults have been conditioned since child hood to say “Thank you” when someone shows them any form of kindness, lends them a helping hand or gives them something they consider valuable. In essence, the average adult has been programmed to see gratitude as an action, a response to some form of external good. Having this form of gratitude is good, but it makes us solely dependent on external events to feel grateful. Therefore, when perceived good things happen you can feel grateful but when perceived bad things (things not going your way) happen, you become ungrateful as you believe there isn’t any other outcome to recognize. This limits your ability to recognize opportunities and your ability to grow as a person.

In the chapter “Becoming aware of gratitude” in my book “21 Affirmations: igniting a positive mental reset,” I discuss how the game changer for me was shifting from understanding and showing gratitude only as an action in response to external events, to feeling gratitude and understanding it as my natural state of being. I explain in detail how that shift happened for me and the benefits of becoming aware of it.

“I define gratitude as a state of being where we begin to recognize the abundance that already exists within us and feel happiness, peace and contentment as our natural state, with or without, external events. It teaches us to lose our dependency on other people, events and things to feel happiness and to learn to be the happiness and peace we want to receive from the world”

We begin to become aware of gratitude as our natural state of being, the more we begin to practice active gratitude, which is gratitude generated by our awareness, versus relying on responsive gratitude, which is gratitude in response to external events. We generate gratitude by awareness every time we recognize a reason to be grateful in the present moment. Bringing our awareness to something within us or around us in the present moment and realizing a reason to be grateful for it.

For example, right now I am grateful for the concentrated thoughts that are forming this article. I do not have to wait for a million people to read it first, I am grateful for the ability to create it and share it. I am grateful for my body and for air to breathe. This is an example of active gratitude. Responsive gratitude would be if I wrote this article and became anxious, until I got my first 100 views and 5 positive comments, before I began to be able to feel grateful for writing it.

As adults we go through different challenges in life and it is normal to feel overwhelmed with negative emotions over time. In order to manage our energy efficiently, we have to discover healthy ways that work for us, to release these negative emotions. If the only way we know how to release our negative emotions is by complaining about them, we end up filling ourselves even more with negative energy. In order to truly let the fresh air in we must find activities that allow us to honor our feelings, express our feelings and to let them go. We also have to become intentional about reducing our complaints and practicing active gratitude.

My challenge to you this month is to practice active gratitude daily and to be intentional about avoiding complaining. Do not be hard on yourself when you find yourself complaining, just try to replace the complaint with a thought of gratitude. To keep the air fresh inside your penthouse you have to be mindful of the smells and odors you allow guests to bring into it. We must learn to set healthy boundaries for people around us that want to focus on complaining and negative outcomes.

Activities for increasing your awareness of gratitude

Make a habit of saying positive words of affirmation to your body parts and yourself as a whole
Make a habit of saying thank you and I love you to your body parts (Thank your organs and body parts for supporting you in your experience of life)
Write down your personal gratitude list of everything you are grateful for in life (update it over time and read it)
Create a daily gratitude practice for yourself (reflect on at least 5 reasons you are grateful for everyday
Create a daily gratitude challenge with family and close friends (each person comes up with 3-5 reasons for being grateful every day)

Healthy activities for releasing emotion

Journaling: writing down your feelings from your personal experiences in a notebook
Prayer
Meditation
Crying
Listening to music
Gym, sports and recreation
Spending time in nature
Creative expression
Getting an accountability partner, support group or joining a community
Working with a life coach
Working with a therapist

Look out for part 2 where I discuss more on how to let the fresh air in through practical mindfulness activities focused around letting go of guilt and judgement. You can read about these in more detail in my book “21 Affirmations: igniting a positive mental reset”

Link to purchase a Hard copy: https://www.amazon.com/21-Affirmations-Igniting-positive-mental/dp/B09LGW4PT7/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=

Link to purchase the eBook version: https://paystack.com/buy/21-affirmations-igniting-a-positive-mental-reset-orkyev

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April 9 2023

Fears that block the manifestation of wealth

kome Coaching, Self-care & Well-being holistic abundance, money, personalgrowth

Fears that block the manifestation of wealth and abundance Identifying fears that create limited beliefs ad experiences

Hello Friends,

Happy Ramadan to our Muslim readers and Happy Easter to our Christian readers! I genuinely hope everyone is having a peaceful and abundant time with their loved ones.

If you are part of, or have been keeping up with the community, you will be aware that we are currently running the “21 positive wealth downloads” program designed to help you reprogram a new relationship with money and abundance. Today is day 14 of the program and I am extremely grateful for the participation and feedback so far. We have been running this activity within our WhatsApp community forum “MONEY DOWNLOADS” and via Instagram (@supremekingblink & @susieiliyan) as well.

Fear is one of, if not THE greatest block, to manifesting wealth, abundance and true fulfilment in life! It stops us from experiencing the fullness of life in every area of life. Fear limits our experience of our own potential and the abundant potential for expansion that this world has to offer.

In order to truly reprogram our mind to establish a new relationship with money and abundance, we must become aware of all the unconscious fears and negative beliefs that influence and shape our feelings, thoughts and actions towards money. There is a plethora of fears that can possibly block us from manifesting wealth and abundance by limiting our perspective of wealth and limiting our power to take decisive action towards manifesting it. In this article I illustrate 21 major fears that can block us from manifesting wealth and abundance. These 21 major fears, can be traced to 4 major root causes and in order to clearly illustrate the relationship between them I have created a mind map!

Overarching block: Fear

4 major root causes of this block:

1) Anxiety:

Fear of competition
Fear of challenges/obstacles
Fear of time
Stage fright/fear of exposure
Fear of change (within and without)

2) Shame

Fear of being ridiculed/laughed at
Fear of being too young/old
Fear of being seen struggling
Fear of being seen as broke
Fear of being seen as a novice/fear of asking for help
Imposter syndrome

3) Guilt/judgement

Fear of rejection
Fear of what other people will say/think
Fear of being yourself
Fear of being misunderstood

4) Lack of trust

Fear of failure
Fear of uncertainty
Fear of lack/scarcity
Fear of risk
Fear of bad luck/jinx
Fear of collaboration

The goal of this mind map is to help you become aware of the possible root causes and limitations that currently affect your ability to manifest wealth and abundance in your reality. Through the “21 positive wealth downloads” program, we have been going through a questionnaire/journal exercise designed to help participants discover the people, events and life experiences that have shaped their core concept of wealth, which has shaped their current relationship with and experience of wealth and abundance. We have also been helping our participants to create new feelings regarding money and abundance through the daily downloads. I am also currently working on a concise eBook/worksheet focused on helping people overcome restrictive money beliefs and to release negative money blocks! I believe this is extremely important for those of us in Nigeria, who are bombarded with constant messaging and imagery of lack and poverty. We live in an extremely abundant land but are surrounded by abject poverty of the mind! I am confident that the “21 positive wealth downloads” program and workshop as well as the forthcoming eBook will become a powerful resource for many to quantum leap from lack to abundance!

If you will like to receive the 21 downloads and the 21 journal exercise questions as a PDF, email “MONEY DOWNLOAD” team@thematrixbuster.com and we will send it to you at the end of the challenge. If you will like to invest in money belief coaching or Theta healing you can email “MONEY BELIEFS” to blink@thematrixbuster.com

Definitions:

Core concept of wealth: Your core concept of wealth generation is your core belief about money, how it should be generated and managed in order to have a satisfying life. This concept will be shaped by your core experiences in life between the ages of 0-18 and will be predominantly shaped by your parents, family members and the society you grew up in.

Downloads: Downloads are energetic packets of information, feelings and knowledge that originate directly from the supreme Creator (God). When we download feelings, we are forming cell receptors in our brains to receive new emotions or feelings that we want to create. Downloads can teach us new ways of feeling and being, instantly!

One love

Blink

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March 11 2023

A letter from your body

kome Coaching, Self-care & Well-being self-awareness, selfcoaching, wellness

A letter from your body Personal security part 2

In my previous article I discussed personal security and the factors that shape our feelings of personal security, as we grow from children to adults. We discovered that in order to feel safe in the world we must start by feeling safe within our own body, which can only be achieved through activating self-awareness (spending time observing the whole of ourselves in order to discover our needs and to honor). When we feel safe in our body, we gain the freedom to act in true alignment with our intentions and purpose in life.

Here is a letter from your body to you, thanking you for honoring its requirement for personal security. You can use this letter to bring your mind and body into harmony, using the power of gratitude and positive affirmations. It is a simple tool to reinforcing mind-body connection.

I encourage you to give yourself a “Self-hug” (as depicted below) as you read through this letter.

Dear (YOUR NAME),

Thank you for thinking positive thoughts about me and for holding positive intentions towards me. Thank you for speaking to me respectfully. Thank you for encouraging me and speaking positive words of affirmations to me. Thank you for prioritizing me and striving to build consistent healthy routines with me. Thank for listening to me. Thank you for striving to discover my physical, mental, spiritual and emotional needs and to honor them. Thank you for being patient with me as I grow into different versions of myself, through different seasons of life. Thank you for being accepting of the different versions of me. Thank you for allowing me to gradually discover the fullness of myself without judging me. Thank you for learning to appreciate me and my development without comparing me to others. Thank you for being gentle and accepting of my areas of vulnerability. Thank you for striving to heal my wounds. Thank you for setting healthy boundaries for me and for protecting me. Thank you for allowing me to express the full range of my emotions without resistance and harsh judgement. Thank you for making me feel heard and seen.

Thank you for not demonizing my desire for pleasure. Thank you for honoring my pleasures. Your pleasure is MY pleasure. Thank you for not restricting my freedom. Thank you for allowing me to explore life. Thank you for making every part of me, feel safe. Thank you for accepting all of me. Thank you for NEVER giving up on me. I love you

From the love of your life.

Your body

Link to download the letter as a PDF: Letter from your body

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February 6 2023

Personal security and how it affects your manifestations!

kome Corporate Wellness, Self-care & Well-being manifestation, personal security, well-being

Personal security and how it affects your manifestations!

What comes to mind when you think of personal security? For most people, it is finances, a comfortable home in a secure location, a good career, family, solid relationships and a relationship with God or any other supernatural entity. These are all important aspects of personal security but with this article, I would like to reflect on a deeper and even more personal dimension of personal security. This dimension of personal security explores our relationship with our mind, our relationship with our emotions and very importantly, our relationship with our body, throughout our entire lives. I believe this dimension of personal security lays the foundation for how we experience every other dimension of personal security in our lives.

What is the end goal of achieving personal security? The obvious answer is to feel safe. To feel safe where? In order for us to feel safe anywhere in the world, we must begin by feeling safe within our own bodies. All insecurity manifests from the illusion of not feeling safe within ourselves. Your body is both your vessel to experience the world, as well as your entire world. If you do not feel comfortable within yourself, you will never feel comfortable (alone) anywhere else, therefore, your body is the most important domain to protect. Why is it important for your body to feel safe? It is important for your body to feel safe in order for you to function at your highest level in every aspect of your life. Feeling safe within our body is perceived as confidence, happiness, courage, intelligence, mastery, seductiveness, beauty, charm and many other great positive things. When our body feels safe it is easier for us to manifest the quality of life that we desire.

The big problem for me with personal security, is that at the beginning of our lives, our personal security is completely out of our own control. We are born as infants and our entire personal security is entrusted to the hands of our parents, family members, caretakers and community. Let us call this group of people, “Group X.” We develop our initial concepts of personal security from Group X and how Group X makes us feel from birth, all through our childhood, adolescence stage and even up until we become adults. Group X is by far the most important group in shaping our core concepts of personal security, which influences whether or not we feel safe within our own body. The fact that we do not begin life being in charge of our own personal security means that we either begin with an advantage or a disadvantage in regards to feeling safe within our own selves and in the world! We start off life with zero language, zero knowledge, and zero power to set our own boundaries, that will allow us to feel safe within ourselves and in our interactions with everyone else.

It is during this stage of development that a lot of damage tends to be done to a lot of people and it takes intentional self-work and access to the right information and tools, to ever heal from the experiences. This is where coaching alliances and therapy can offer massive value in helping adults gain deeper insight, into life experiences that shape their feelings of personal security. We must spend time alone with ourselves, asking the right questions, meditating and listening to our body in order to truly discover what it needs to feel safe.

Here are 10 powerful questions you can ask yourself to discover how your Group X has influenced your core concepts and beliefs of personal security:

Did I feel loved unconditionally by Group X? (did I only feel loved when I pleased them even when pleasing them didn’t please me?)
Did I feel protected by Group X? (Did I feel they protected me from physical, emotional, spiritual and mental intrusion?)
Did I feel accepted by Group X?
Did I feel wanted by Group X?
Did I feel safe around Group X?
How did Group X make my body feel? (Did my body feel comfortable, protected and appropriately handled? Did my body ever feel in danger?)
Did I feel restricted by Group X? (Could I be myself around them? Could I express myself to them?)
How did Group X respond or make me feel when I made mistakes?
Did I feel emotionally supported by Group X?
Did group X make me feel validated (Did they make me feel like they were proud of me?)

The level of safety we feel from Group X, determines how we experience the next important group that shapes our concept of personal security. This group includes all figures of authority outside of Group X. Our school teachers, headmasters, sports coaches, school itself, church, government, celebrities and media. Let us call them “Group Y.” This is where the quality of environment and the quality of the culture in the environment become very important on so many levels! The core values, the average standard of living, the economy, the hygiene and aesthetics of the environment, inevitably shape the way Group Y influences our personal security. Using Nigeria as an example, A child growing up in Banana Island Lagos, may naturally feel safer in his environment than a child growing up in Makoko, Yaba. Although aesthetics and quality of environment are not the most important attributes of Group Y, it usually follows that with better quality of environment, comes better core values within the environment.

Within Group Y, one of the most important groups of influencers are the school influencers (teachers, headmasters, school curriculums, housemasters and sports coaches) and the religious influencers (Priests, pastors, catechists, Imams, holy men and holy women.) This group largely determines the social aspect of our personal security with regards to if we feel good enough for society and if we feel safe within society. Their curriculums, doctrines, teachings, systems of value, systems of correction, systems of validation and systems of reward greatly determine our concepts and beliefs of personal security, especially in the early stages of our lives. The degree to which we feel judged or accepted by this people and the degree to which we feel validated or invalidated by this people, also greatly affects our feelings of personal security.

Here are 10 powerful questions you can ask yourself to discover how your Group Y has influenced your core concepts and beliefs of personal security:

How did school make me feel as a child? (nursery, primary and secondary school especially)
How did I feel around school authorities? (head masters, teachers, sports coaches)
How did my school curriculum make me feel? (classwork and homework)
How did quizzes, tests and examinations make me feel?
How did school authorities make me feel about my intellect and talents?
How did church or mosque (or any other place of worship) make me feel growing up?
How did I feel about my country’s president and leaders?
Did I feel validated by Group Y?
Did I feel encouraged/supported by Group Y?
How did Group Y respond when I made mistakes?

The next (extremely important) group of people who help shape our concepts of personal security from an early age is our “Group Z.” This group includes our peer groups, childhood friendships, and our first intimate relationships. Outside of family, they largely influence the way we view and feel about ourselves. Our relationship with and experience of our Group X greatly influences our experience and relationship with our Group Z. The better and more solid our experience of Group X is, the less dependent we will be on our Group Z for personal security. In cases where individuals have a negative experience of Group X, the desire for their Group Z to satisfy their needs of personal security becomes a lot stronger. The people we call friends are usually people who closely reflect our inner values, beliefs and interests. They are like a mirror through which we can see how the world sees us. How this group of people view us, speak to us, treat us and make us feel, greatly shapes how we will grow up feeling about ourselves for a major part of our lives, until we learn to become accountable for our own well-being. Group Z influences our self-image, our self-confidence, our level of self-love, our level of trust, our behaviours, our trends, our systems of value and self-validation. The quality of Group Y also comes into play here because it is supposed to provide a layer of structure, boundaries and protection in the interactions within Group Z.

Here are 10 powerful questions you can ask yourself to discover how your Group Z has influenced your core concepts and beliefs of personal security:

Did I feel heard and seen by Group Z?
Did I feel accepted by Group Z?
How did I feel around Group Z?
Did I feel respected by Group Z?
How did Group Z make me feel about my body? (self-image, appearance and how you sound)
How did Group Z make me feel about my intellect and talent?
How did Group Z make me feel about my family background?
How did Group Z make me feel about being myself? (how you behaved naturally)
On a scale of 1-10, how much did I trust Group Z?
On a scale of 1-10 how much disappointment did I experience from Group Z?

Credit: Getty Images/iStockphoto

Now that we have discussed the major issues with personal security and the major groups that shape our experience of personal security, how do we get to feel safe? The journey to feeling safe is a journey of self-awareness, which begins with us deciding to take accountability for our own well-being as adults. We must find a way to break free from the influence and control of Groups X, Y, and Z. The more you detach from the influence and control of Group XYZ, the more you to begin to know yourself, to think for yourself, to set healthy boundaries and to truly express your truest intentions in line with your life purpose. How do we achieve this when we may already be starting with foundational disadvantages? We achieve this by connecting with the master group! This group remains hidden to majority of the world because they never delve deep enough into their journey of self-discovery and self-awareness. They don’t have the right mentorship, support or community so they give up before their journey bears fruits. This master group I like to call “Group Alpha.” This group includes God (the supreme creator), your soul (master/creative mind), nature and abundance (money, success and supply). The relationship we develop with this group supersedes any and every other relationship we have with other groups. It is through developing a solid relationship with this group that we can rewrite our entire experience of personal security and install the settings we desire to have, for our highest level of safety and well-being.

Once we become adults, we are no longer powerless to set the right boundaries for us to achieve personal security. We must desire it for ourselves and demand it from the world in order for us to ever experience it in our reality. We must take our power back by deciding to become accountability for our own well-being and no longer depending on Group XYZ to provide it for us.

Taking accountability for your well-being is the gateway to building a solid relationship with Group Alpha. We embark on this journey of accountability by:

Choosing to spend more time alone with ourselves, asking the right questions, meditating, listening to our master mind, praying, journaling and observing our own patterns. The more we listen in silence the clearer we receive God’s guidance. But in order to know the creator you can’t see, you must commit to knowing yourself (the creator you can see) completely!
Choosing to learn about our body and emotions, finding out what they require and honoring them
Choosing to reflect on past experiences in order to validate how we felt about them whether or not they were validated by the world
Choosing to learn what we deeply desire outside of external influences and to believe that our desires are valid
Choosing to affirm and love ourselves everyday
Choosing to build consistency with our body through healthy spiritual, physical and emotional routines. The more consistent we are with these routines the more self-trust and confidence we build
Choosing to spend time in nature, contemplating, meditating and listening to/feeling the vibrations around us
Choosing to discover our talents and gifts and to do our best to express them to the full

We need personal security to live authentically, and those who think, speak and live authentically, get what they desire. Most times it is not that people don’t value us, it is that we don’t value ourselves. And most times it is not that we do not value ourselves, it’s that we do not feel safe enough or worthy enough to feel valuable.

Finally, how does your body feel about you? If your body was a friend or acquaintance in your life, how do you think it would feel about you? Sit down in a quiet place, ask your body these questions and listen to what comes to mind. Write it down.

Link to purchase and download: 21 AFFIRMATIONS SELF-HELP PACKAGE

One love

Blink

To comment on this post, join my private community Society of Freedom Thinkers (SOFT)

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January 11 2023

Self identity & the importance of Ancestry

kome Coaching, Self-care & Well-being

Self-identity and the importance of Ancestry

In my life time, another unfortunate result of colonization I have witnessed, is the unconscious disconnect from self-identity it has caused my people. In my opinion, the most important factor that contributes to an individual’s self-identity, is their ancestry! Your ancestry is your family history, a record of where your ancestors originated from, tracing their descendants down to your immediate parents.

What thoughts come to mind when you think of your ancestors? Does that train of thought ever cross your mind? Do you think it is important to know about your ancestors or do you believe this is a form of backwardness? I would admit, for many years of my life, I remained very ignorant about my ancestors, and the significance of knowing about them, caring about them and honoring them. Our school curriculums did not encourage us to value our national history before colonization, and the religions imposed on us programmed us to look at our own cultures, customs and spiritual practices as backward, demonic and evil. Even our Nollywood movies teach us to equate our culture with voodoo and evil, and never good virtues and character. Good character and virtue are usually attributed to the village pastor while evil and malice are attributed to the village native doctor. Since history is always written by the victors, we have never received accurate accounts of who our ancestors really were, the struggles they faced and the battles they won and lost.

The image of ancestors that was painted for many Nigerians, is an image of weakness, backwardness, barbarity, evil and divisiveness. We are told stories that you do not want to be associated with and that you cannot be inspired by! We are not told stories of triumphant and victorious warriors, of men and woman of the highest virtue, of innovators and creators. But there is no society that can thrive for thousands of years without such men and woman! Growing up as a Nigerian and a catholic, you spend most of your life learning about the greatness and holiness of foreigners. You learn about the lives of a plethora of saints, explorers, scientists, philosophers and inventors, predominantly from Europe. And one can’t help but ask, what were my ancestors doing? It is until you begin to go deeper into your search for knowledge about yourself and your culture that you realize that a lot of the true information has been suppressed or falsified. You will realize that it was always the colonial plan to limit your knowledge about your culture, your history and yourself, in order to control you and manipulate your resources.

A man who does not respect his own ancestry, will not respect his own identity and a man who does not respect his own identity, will not respect his own ideas and a man who does not respect his own ideas, will not invent or create- Kome Nelson Agose

By the time I was born, the only grandparent still alive, was my grandmother on my mum’s side. I had a decent relationship with her even though she lived in a different state and we didn’t see often. I am grateful I was able to witness her alive, interact with her and eat her cooking. I only wish I had the chance to ask her many more questions about my family history before she passed away last year on May 18^th, 2022. It wasn’t until her passing and my 1^st hand experience of her burial ceremony, that it finally clicked in my head why it was so important to honor our ancestors and to keep their memories alive. Ancestors are not random spirits in the sky, these are your actual parents and their genes (life force and data) are also within you. Without these people you would not be here to experience the abundance of life that the creator has in store for you. They possess the physical, emotional, mental, sexual, and even financial historical data of the person you are today. Their nutrition, cultures, customs, spirituality, environment, hygiene, and life experiences all contribute to shape your identity and having knowledge of these areas help you to navigate life with less resistance. They also had to go through unimaginable struggles to procreate and to survive through difficult times in order for you to be alive to witness today. Many fought battles, survived famines, oppression, invasions and other horrors in order to live and procreate. They deserve to be respected, revered and honored for the sacrifices they made. They do not deserve the neglect and insults that they suffer from us on a nationwide scale! If you have no access to information about their lives and about who they were, it makes it more difficult to fully understand yourself, your patterns, your strengths, your weaknesses, your resources, your gifts and your predispositions. It is why we lack direction as a nation. We either no longer care about this information or no longer have accurate access to it.

Reflecting on my grandmother’s life, the struggles she had to face as a young girl in a polygamous marriage and as a mother, inspired me to want to learn more about my other grandparents on both sides. I began to ask my parents questions in order to map out my ancestry as far back as I could. I was able to go back about 10 generations on my mother’s side but I could only go as far as 2 generations so far on my father’s side due to the influence of the Catholic faith. Our family connections to the traditions before Christianity were severed and as such, a lot of useful information lost, simply because no one saw the inherent value in it or saw it as evil or backward! I cannot blame them for this because of the level of deception, destruction and fear the colonizers brought into the land and to anyone who opposed their wishes. I was able to find accurate accounts of the origin of my dad’s tribe as well as in-depth information about our cultures, customs and spirituality which gave me massive insight into why we are who we are as people today.

It is important to be able to look at each generation with the standards of judgement from their own particular generation and not with the standards of a future or past one. I am saying this for everyone to note that there has never been a perfect generation anywhere in the world and that truth and innovation are always revealed in more detail in the future, than they were in the past. Therefore, it is important to be able to forgive your ancestors for any ignorance or lack of information they must have had and to trust that they did the best they could with the information they had! This allows you to be able to observe all of their patterns without judgment which would give you a wider perspective for understanding and a deeper appreciation for who they were as people.

The more you learn about who your ancestors were and their life stories, the more you feel a connection to them. The more connected you feel to them the more you will respect them and desire to keep their memory alive in thought, words and actions! Even the bible commands that Christians should honor their mothers and fathers so that it will be well with them. If this is a natural law, does our neglect, disdain and borderline disrespect of our ancestors attract any retribution to our nation? Our adopted religions have diverted our focus from our ancestors and ancestral lands, to foreign ancestors and ancestral lands. We neglect our own parents while honoring their own! We learn about their names, their lives and achievements. We pray for them, sing songs about them, honor them and build statues for them. This is why we respect and revere foreigners, particularly the Europeans and Arabs, more than we do ourselves and our own ancestors! This is also why we feel little to no connection to each other and to our ancestral lands, and can let whoever come in and take whatever they want from it. It is almost like we have forgotten/lost our place in the world. We trust outsiders more than we trust ourselves, individually and collectively.

Ever since making these discoveries a year ago, I have been praying to God to reveal healthy and true ways to honor my ancestors and align with them. The very first step I was led to was asking my parents and family members questions, finding out their names, when they died, how they lived, what type of spirituality they practiced, and even the cause of their death. I wanted to know both the good and the bad. I was also led to read about both my cultures, my mum is from a royal Benin family, while my dad is Isoko. I began to pray for my ancestors and to speak to them through words of affirmation in my heart. I started to let them know that I forgive them for whatever misdeed they may have committed based on the misinformation they had, I let them know that I love them and I am proud of them and I also let them know that more truth about life has been revealed in my time. Most importantly, I constantly remind them, while calling their actual names, that I am grateful for them sharing the gift of life with me! Instead of looking up to catholic saints and foreigners who aren’t part of my bloodline, I have been asking my own ancestors to intercede for me, to reveal life patterns and past mistakes to me that I may be repeating, to reveal hidden strengths, skills and talents that I may be unaware of and to keep me aligned with my divine purpose.

Ever since I embarked on this journey, I have been growing exponentially in self-knowledge, knowledge of life, in understanding my gifts, my triggers and my strengths, and in overcoming various limitations I had been facing in life. I have been healing areas of myself by observing the patterns within my ancestry and choosing to respond in a different way in this present life time. I have been doing all of this out of love and faith but It wasn’t until Last Saturday that I received my biggest confirmation with an extraordinary sign!

On Saturday, January 7^th 2023, I went to Tarkwa Bay beach in Lagos, for my first camping trip of the year. I go camping at Tarkwa bay whenever I need a hard reset, need some deep reflection or deep connection with my soul through nature. The silvery sands, the sound of the water crashing on the rocks, the beautiful trees and scenery, provide the perfect environment for one to achieve perfect connection with God and with self. The Lagos city life is noisy and chaotic, constant interaction with it without any deliberate unplug from it quickly leads one to a state of confusion and frustration. Going to the beach is one of the most affordable ways to unplug and to find peace and clarity within Lagos. Camping on the beach is one of the most amazing and deeply fulfilling experiences to have in Lagos, but only true nature lovers and adventurous souls get to experience it. I am usually shocked at how empty the beach is whenever I go camping and on this particular occasion, I had the entire beach front to myself.

I know what you are thinking, is it safe to camp overnight at Tarkwa bay beach? It happens to be one of the safest places in Lagos state, as it an island community of Naval and Military officers. It is secure 24 hours a day and there are also hotels and cabanas available for lodging. I took a banana boat from 6 Walter Carrington Street at about 3PM and it took us 10 minutes to make it to the beach. Once I got to the beach, I spent the evening hiking, swimming in the ocean, stretching, talking with a few friends that I met on the beach and sipping fresh palm wine! It was the perfect way to cool off from the Christmas and New year’s madness in the city. By sun set, the beach began to empty out as most of the regular visitors started heading back to land.

Around 1am in the morning I was praying and honoring my ancestors on the beach in front of the ocean, about 2 meters from where my tent was. It was a full moon and the Orion’s belt constellation was very visible. I called out my ancestors by their names, thanked them for their life’s effort and sacrifices, for all the ways they guide me and fight for me that I am unaware of and reminded them that I am proud to be their descendant. After saying my prayers, I was spinning around in a circle (really out of childish excitement) and pouring the water I had in my hand on the sand and the water made a circle on the ground. Anyone who goes to the beach knows that prints in the sand get covered either by the wind, the water or by other people’s footsteps. At sun rise I woke up to go for a swim in the ocean and to do some more exercises. When I was done stretching other people had started showing up to the beach, including a few other people I know who stopped by to swim in the ocean with me. At this point, I forgot I had made a water circle on the ground after praying for my ancestors specifically, earlier that morning.

On my way back to where my tent was, a friend who had joined me to swim, noticed the shape of a perfect heart on the sand 2 meters away from my tent. She goes “I wonder who drew a heart on the ground” and when I looked, I realized it had been the exact same spot I was standing and honoring my ancestors the night before. Not only did the wind not cover up the water circle splash on the floor, but what was clearly a circle the night before, had become the shape of a heart in the morning almost 9 hours later. I took this as a sign of appreciation from my ancestors and motivation to continue to love and honor their memory!

Nobody cares about the success of your life more than your own bloodline, your own race, your own family, your own parents and your own ancestors. Yes, the human flesh and mind can be corrupted by deception while on earth and each generation is born into a set of lies. But I believe that when we transition back to the world of the spirit, we realign with perfect truth and love. The only way to move forward as an individual or a race is to learn from the past, in order to avoid repeating negative patterns and we can only learn from the past by observing it objectively! We must be open to learning and removing any fear associated with connecting with our ancestry. Honoring and respecting your ancestors gives more meaning to your life, and it inspires future generations of men and woman to make better contributions within their life time. It gives one a strong sense of belonging and identity knowing all the sacrifices that have been made, for he or she to be here living free and breathing air today.

You must fully honor your ancestors in order to fully honor yourself. Whatever you judge in your ancestors you judge in yourself, because it is from them you get all your genes from. You must fully understand your ancestors in order to understand yourself. The essence and life force of all your ancestors, since the beginning, exists within you. Aligning with this energy gives one access to information from various times and different ages. It is also important to honor our first, ancestor, the mother of all life, THE EARTH! By contemplating her beauty, watering her plants, respecting all life and living according to your purpose in love!

I encourage you to learn more about your ancestry today and to begin to honor their memories more in whatever way that is revealed to you. It will bring extraordinary new insights and opportunities into your life. And do not forget your first ancestor…mother earth!

One love

Blink

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